The Whiner

There was a man, approaching middle age, whose life was comfortable, but he felt an emptiness inside, a longing. So he decide to join a monastery.

The head monk told him that the road ahead was difficult, he would have to give up all earthly possessions, pray constantly, and he would have to be totally silent. In fact, he could not speak at all, to anyone. He was allowed only to say two words every five years.

So the man joins and becomes a monk, and he is silent. Five years goes by, and the Abbot comes to visit. The man is summoned before the Abbot, and he is asked “So, how is everything?” The man answers “Bed hard”. The Abbot replies, “Oh, I’m so sorry, we didn’t know. We’ll take care of that right away. You should be comfortable in bed.” And the bed is fixed.

Another five years goes by, the man is silent, and again, the Abbot comes to visit. He again asks “How are you, my son, is all OK?” The man replies to the Abbot “Food cold”, to which the Abbot replies, “Oh my, that is no good, we will take care of that problem right away. No more cold food.”

Again, five more years goes by, the man is the ideal monk, he prays, he is silent. This time, the Abbot can’t visit, so the man is called before his superior, who asks “How are you, are you OK? To which the man replies “I quit”.

So his superior says, in surprise, “Well, of course you quit, you’ve been here for fifteen years and all you’ve done is complain!”