Excuse me, can I help you?

When I first started out in ministry I found myself within a church that had existed for 30 years but had never really had an effective counseling ministry. As part of the leadership team, I gave myself to meeting with people, hearing them out and having some sort of input in their lives. It was a busy time for me but I felt fulfilled that I was helping people with their struggles and hurts and was somehow being used to bring closure and healing in their lives. I never counted on the fact that the rest of the leadership team would turn on me and feel really threatened by the fact that people would come to me with their “stuff”. Bear in mind that this church had never really had any effective counseling ministry so the needs were great….and the problems were evident.

Although in hindsight I could have handled this situation with a little bit more wisdom (I was young back then, impulsive, and even had hair!) the discussions that ensued from this situation gave for some creative views of how this team perceived that “ministry” should be done. In order to address the fact that people were coming to me with all their counseling needs, they suggested that the whole team of 5 leaders got involved in each and every case. Regardless of the fact that this was a blatant disregard for the person seeking counseling (a person seeking counseling needs to meet with a counsellor he or she feels safe with, and where trust has been established), they probably felt that in this way their lack of relationship with the people within that church would not be highlighted as my apparent “popularity” had been doing. Their offer of help was not an offer of help at all.

Ezra’s day in the bible saw a movement to restore broken walls and burnt waste places. People returned to Israel from a long captivity in Babylon and immediately got bus rebuilding the ruined city. This reconstruction is a symbolic picture of mending broken hearts and shattered lives, and guess what, you have a part to play in this. God’s purposes are always in restoration and redemption, and all of His children have been given the ministry of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18), and all have an important part to play.

In Ezra 4:1 we see that their adversaries heard that this rebuilding was going on, and immediately the first tactic of these adversaries was to offer assistance. Like the situation in my old church, this offer of help was not an offer of help at all. Often our worst hindrances come disguised as an offer of assistance. People who really do not want you to succeed will come alongside and say, “excuse me, can I help you”?!?!?! There is a sub-text at play here. This “can I help you?” really reads as follows:-

1. Who do you think you are?
2. What do you think you are doing?
3. Why you? Why not me?

This “assistance” is really an indirect challenge that operates at three levels:

1. It challenges your sense of identity – Who do think you are?
2. In order challenge your calling and sense of purpose – Why you? Why not me?
3. In order to thwart your mission – What do you think your are doing?

In my totally-dysfunctional-leadership-team-issue the challenge I received was a challenge to my validity as a pastor. I suspect you have received similar challenges.

After all is said and done, I have one thing to say to you: Dude, nail your identity, and do not let your calling and purpose be polluted by the input of both good intentions or otherwise. Wise counsel is good, and should be sought, but never at the expense of your calling, purpose, and mission.

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